Rain comes

I set of that morning with confidence. Hayley was settled, she had been up once at night and a couple of twinges, nothing we hadn't had before. I needed an early start, there was much to be done that day.

At 8am my phone went off. Hayley. I don't think she said much before I replied "oh no". I could hear that it was not well when I called back in a while and asked her to contact Dr Botner while I drove. 35 minutes there and 35 back. Traffic was kind. I manage to get past a massive abnormal load just other side of Kliprivier hoping it would be past Walkerville on the return. Golfview boom. Shit, left my keys and remote at the office. Dealt with that.

Hayley was not happy. Lots of pain. Not the same as last time.

I remember counting as each contraction arrived trying to figure if they were getting closer, but realising that it didn't really matter. I recall getting to ten. We made the hospital and because of my previous practise run I managed to keep the panic polite.

But it was not like before. The pethidine seemed to make no difference to Hayley, despite what the monitor was saying. Even on the insistence of the nurse that it was working and the contractions had subsided. I could see the intensity of the pain as Hayley's eyes rolled back and all normal sensory input was drowned.

To that point I was sure that stasis would return when the doctor arrived and the drips were put in. We had been though this before. I was watching the time on the monitor's printed log. It had started at 9:46 and it was now 10:45. At the time I was unaware that the doctor had come and gone. She had checked Hayley and decided that all was OK - her cervix was closed. But I was anxious, where was the doctor? Hayley was not doing well and surely this level of pain was unnecessary. I sent my mental time limit to 11:00, if she was not there by then, I would allow my polite control to slip.

Then she said "I feel like I want to push". At that moment things changed. I turned and went directly to the nurse's station.